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Getting by. You immigrate from a nation that limits your freedom, to a nation that again limits your freedom but in other ways. For so many Vietnamese parents their only reason to continue is their children. At the end of the day, my parents are living for me, not for themselves. They will work if you let them.

They will live peacefully, ambitiously, and dutifully, if you just let them. Inspired by a recent wave of Asian Americans trying to break the ice with their parents, I had been thinking about writing a letter to my dad and doing so in Vietnamese. But I have to start somewhere. To your parents, you are their compass. You were only 21 when your family immigrated to this country that promised you better opportunities. You guided them and your siblings to where they are today. As a caretaker, you were the one who got called at 2am in the night to rush over and take your mother to the hospital, too many times to even count.

You were the one who still kept your folks company after all their children have moved onto their own lives. To my mother, you are her rock. You laid down the foundation before she came over, so that you could make a living and start a family. To your wife, you are the one who takes the steering wheel in face of disaster, the one who laughs when the world laughs at you both for your accents, and the one who keeps house and greets her she comes home late from work; you are all the support that she has, while the two of you grow old and watch your children grow old together.

To your children, my brother and I, you are our shield. You know all the nooks and crannies of navigating this world, even when the system has been built against you. When I was sick as a child, you took me to the doctor so often they still remember us when we visit.

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You have hidden your struggles from me with your silly sense of humor, which in turn lets me live the privileged life I feel that I have. Mom says I get my reckless driving from you because you have a habit of always being in a rush. Thank you so much to OCA for providing this space for me to write to my father. Meet the Staff.

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